Apples of Gold

In personal relationships, the way we communicate is paramount.

On many occasions, misunderstandings are generated that can ruin relationships or, in the best of cases, create conflict between people.

Psychologists and communication professionals give guidelines and even courses for conflict resolution and ways to restore relationships.

Conflicts often begin with the way we talk to each other or with words that we speak without thinking. These can be the first steps to hurting the other person and thus begin to generate a conflict even with someone we appreciate or whom we want in our lives. How do we usually express ourselves —with aggressive, derogatory, ironic words, or attitudes of superiority? It is very important to think about how we are going to say things, especially when we are angry, because once the words are out your mouth, you can no longer retract them or go back. They can damage the feelings of the people they are addressed to. I do not remember who told me the story of the wrinkled paper, but the story says that when you wrinkle a paper very hard with both hands, even if you try to stretch it out again later, it is no longer the same.

There are both big and small wrinkles throughout the paper, depending on how many times and how hard you squeezed it.

There will come a time when the wrinkles deteriorate the paper, almost unrecognizably, from its initial form.

The paper is a metaphor for a relationship; the harsh words, the wrinkling. Let’s meditate on Proverbs 25:11 and think about how we speak to others —and improve our general way of communicating before it is too late because the relationships of our friends and family are already too “wrinkled.”

Maite Lavado