Major Meltdown

Early one Friday morning, Olivia had a major meltdown.

I have no idea what set her off, causing her to scream while throwing anything within reach. I went into her room several times to tell her to calm down and even issued the ultimate consequence—no treats this weekend. Even after that, the rant continued.

I returned to her room and made her lie down and go back to sleep.

It took about five minutes, but she settled down and finally fell asleep.

As hard as I try to instill the connection between behavior and consequences, I see how autism sometimes takes control of Liv’s body and emotions.

Once the runaway train is in motion, there is no stopping it until it crashes. I have attended several autism conferences and heard adults with autism describe the loss of control they sometimes feel, which reminded me that Liv cannot cap those emotions once they start boiling up—even now, as an adult. After Liv got some physical rest to calm her body, she awakened, her usual chipper self. Her expressive language is limited, so it was impossible for her to tell me what had initially upset her. After we read her devotional thought together, she said that she had calmed down and would still like to have her treats as usual on Friday evening.

Giving this some thought, it really made me glad that Liv asked for her treats to be reinstated. It made me realize that she knows what forgiveness and grace look like.

She knows that she could come and ask for the things she had been promised to her before her meltdown. And even having had the meltdown, having calmed down, she wanted those treats. I confess I used to be the stern parent who always had to have the final word. Punishment and consequences had to be implemented.

But more and more, God has been bending my heart toward grace.

I am thankful that Liv knows what grace looks like.

She knows that I love her and that grace is there to be imparted—she just has to ask for it. If she had not asked, she would not have received, but she pleaded for mercy and grace. In spite of all my “stern parenting,” she still sees love and a way through to find grace. God has a ton of grace to lavish on all of us.

We simply need to ask.

Stephanie McMillan