The Transformative Power of Humility

When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed down before David with her face to the ground. She fell at his feet and said: “Pardon your servant, my lord, and let me speak to you; hear what your servant has to say.” —1 Samuel 25:23, 24, NIV

David was an outcast, working on a voluntary basis as a protection force for a wealthy businessman whom he had never met.

After a period of protecting the rich man’s holdings, David thought it was time to be “paid” for his services. So he sent his men to Nabal, the businessman, to ask for provisions. Nabal curtly refused and accused David of being a nobody. The stage was set for conflict. Furious, David vowed to kill Nabal. Nabal’s resourceful wife, Abigail, heard about the situation and decided to intervene to avert disaster. As you read the story in 1 Samuel 25, note three valuable lessons Abigail models for conflict resolution. First, Abigail was humble in her interactions with David. With more than an abundant supply of provisions for David’s men, she fell on her knees and first apologized for her husband. Though she was the wife of a wealthy landowner, she was self-effacing and soft-spoken. Today humility is a characteristic often ignored in our egotistical society. However, the Bible counsels, “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up” ( James 4:10, NKJV). Second, Abigail affirmed God’s role in David’s life.

She reminded the future king that God was leading in his choices, saying, “The LORD has held you back from coming to bloodshed” (1 Samuel 25:26, NKJV) and “my lord fights the battles of the LORD” (verse 28). Finally, Abigail protected David’s reputation in God’s work. She suggested he not do anything that would impact his good name and that God would deal well with him (verse 31). Humble, encouraging, and protective. Wow! What an approach to conflict resolution! Think about your last argument. How might these tools have been useful to you? How might these tools be useful to you in the future? What if we were humble and apologized first? How can we be more respectful of God’s role in the lives of others? How can we better practice humility in our interactions with others, respecting their rights more than our own? Lord, help us apply Abigail’s selfless principles in all our relationship challenges.

Edith C. Fraser