Heal Me, Lord

Have you ever prayed and asked God for healing? I cannot count all the times in my life I have faced illness and asked God to heal me.

The illness could be a bad cold, back pain, or cancer.

I believe most of us have asked God for healing.

How does God answer our requests for healing? Jeremiah tells us that when we cry out to God for healing, we are healed, and as a result, we give Him praise.

But I seem to recall a number of times in my life when I cried out to God to heal me, and I was not healed. Is Jeremiah lying? Did I not pray the right way? Was there something I needed to do in addition to praying? For years, I struggled with God’s seeming “no” answers to my prayers to be healed. Was I not worthy? And if not, how could I become worthy? And then one day, as I read through several Bible verses that have to do with God healing us, the thought came to mind that God did heal me but not in the way I expected.

You see, I forgot to ask for and then accept God’s will.

My asking for healing did not include God’s will, only my will to be healed. In 1985, I was first diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at the age of twenty-seven, and I prayed for healing. I spent many hours in the Bible and in prayer, asking God and pleading with Him to heal me. I was young. Too young to be dealing with debilitating arthritis.

I had a two-year-old daughter. I was only six years into married life. This could not be happening to me. So I prayed like the importunate widow (Luke 18:1–8) for healing. The pastor and elders anointed me, but healing did not come in the way I asked.

Our God is so wise. He alone knows our future and what is best for us. He did heal me—not in body but in mind. I found joy in Jesus during a very painful time in my life. He healed my sadness and gave me hope and the ability to see my situation and life in general through His eyes of joy. It took me a few years to realize that God had indeed healed me.

But when I did, I rejoiced. Yes, I was still in pain, with swollen and painful joints, but I had peace and joy inside. I saw God using my situation to connect me with my sisters who were in pain, whether physical or emotional.

My friends, God does heal!

Heather-Dawn Small (deceased)