He Was There All the Time

I had no idea that my life was about to change.

I was very involved in my career of teaching, working in the church, traveling, and taking care of my family. Then it happened. I received a call from my doctor, asking me to come to the hospital for a recheck of a recent mammogram.

Yes, they found a lump. I was stunned. Up to that time, I knew of no one in my family who ever had breast cancer. God, please help me to process this.

Don’t let it be malignant. My faith began to falter.

I tried my best to hold on to His unchanging hand but felt overwhelmed. I asked my family and spiritual warriors to pray with and for me.

The hospital scheduled a biopsy and indeed found cancer. I was stunned! How can this be? Yet God came through. With prayer, I was able to completely depend on Him. He was just waiting for me to trust Him. He was there all the time.

After lumpectomy surgery, a treatment plan began with four chemotherapy infusions and five and a half weeks of radiation. After treatment, I was never prescribed any additional medication. In fact, I was able to continue teaching that year.

Now, what is this? I am retired, and my health is great.

I am busy, involved in church and in the community, and trying to follow a vegetarian diet. No stress in my life. Then it happened again: I received a call from the hospital to come in for a recheck of a recent mammogram. Now, Lord, You were there before.

My faith is stronger. So, I am totally depending on You.

Tests revealed a lump in the same breast, and it was malignant again—twenty years later. I underwent a mastectomy. Can you imagine that? My resolve was strong, though, and I told God that whatever He chose to do with this situation, I would submit myself fully to Him. If this was a way to save me, so let it be. I was on medication for the next five years. I can only imagine the day when I find myself standing before Jesus.

I can only imagine when all I will want to do is worship Him.

In His presence, there will be no more sickness.

What a glorious day that will be!*

Vivian Brown

* MercyMe, “I Can Only Imagine,” by Bart Millard, track 5 on Almost There, INO Records, 2001, compact disc.