From Panic to Peace

From the time we arrived at our campsite, the nearby forty or so young people drinking and toasting to “White Power” and racial slurs put me on edge.

At four thirty in the morning, I yanked my husband out of bed, and we fled the area after overhearing plans to harm us. The trauma still makes me feel unsettled and unsafe, even in my own home. “Of course,” my confidant said, “your identity was attacked, and now you have to change your boundaries. You’ve always sought the furthest places, the most rugged experiences, and adventures. That is who you think you are.” I was operating on boldness, without wisdom about the world that we live in. This week I had to adjust my self-imposed expectations and explore living in the moment, both wisely and bravely.

My senses were still heightened, waiting for another assault on my personal space and identity. Yet those same senses guided me to better receive beauty too.

I chose to enjoy the great support of patient friends, peaceful nature sounds, and low-key activities at a local park. Even though I had been to this place already, I saw it with fresh eyes. It is the same location, but this time I noticed the new season’s foliage and even the changing boundaries of the place itself as ponds transitioned into meadows in order to serve new purposes in the ecological community. With Jesus as my Guide, changes in the way I live my life will create a better world for someone else too.

Not an environment of perpetual conflict, anxiety, anger, or hatred. But instead, a meadow of peace, boldness, and growth. Sometimes fences are broken down slowly, not with violence. Wisdom can be a terrifying process.

Sometimes the more we know, the more there is to fear.

Yet wisdom can also help us better appreciate the good times if we will let it. Choosing peace, in spite of triggers and fear, can be an adventure in itself.

And that, my friend, is a personal triumph, not an identity crisis!

Wendy Williams