Late or on Time?

Many women dream of having a baby, particularly when they are in love and happily married. My husband and I got married almost ten years ago and decided to start a family soon after. The sight of two lines on the pregnancy stick shortly after that was one of the greatest feelings. The joy and hope in our hearts were unlike anything we had experienced before. Six weeks later, I started to spot, and my doctor referred me for an ultrasound.

I begged God to save my baby. During the ultrasound, the tech informed me there was no cardiac activity but that it would be confirmed at a one-week follow-up. I felt brokenhearted and spent the week pleading with God for a miracle.

My go-to verses reminded me, “From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I” (Psalm 61:2, KJV). I remained confident God would answer my prayers. At the follow-up scan, I heard the daunting news, “Fetal demise.” Why did He fail me? What had I done to deserve this? I thought God no longer cared about me. In my pain, I turned to the Word and studied how Hannah dealt with her infertility. I brought my petition before God and, like Hannah, promised to dedicate my child to His service if He would grant my request. Shortly after my miscarriage, I conceived again. Surely God had answered my prayer, just like Hannah. Eight weeks later I started to spot and miscarried again. The questions came flooding back. During this time I came across a fertility center that specialized in finding the root cause of infertility. Ultimately I fell pregnant again and carried my baby to full term. During my pregnancy, I prayed daily, dedicating my child’s life to God—and what a blessing she is. With hindsight, I see that God’s timing is perfect.

Though we may feel like Martha after her brother Lazarus had died, thinking God’s answer has come too late (see John 11), we can trust Him even when He does not give us what we want when we want it. “When Jesus received the message, he said, ‘This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby.’ ”* As hard as it is to see in our moments of anguish, God knows what is best for each of us. We can safely trust His love, no matter how He chooses to be glorified in our lives.

Jerylyn Richards

* Ellen G. White, The Spirit of Prophecy, vol. 2 (Battle Creek, MI: Seventh-day Adventist Publishing, 1877), 360.