Made Redundant Twice

Almost five years ago, my position in church administration was made redundant midway through my term. It was a very difficult time.

The position had been challenging, and I had done my best with only minimal help from the team with which I worked. All these years later, the pain can still sometimes resurface. To make matters worse, three years after that experience, my position in departmental leadership was also made redundant. Can you imagine how that made me feel? With the wounds from my first redundancy still not fully healed, the second redundancy reopened everything and left me emotionally bleeding once more. I felt hurt, angry, and disappointed.

Though I tried to understand why it was happening, I was left feeling sad and confused. Just when I thought I knew what I was doing in that position and where I was going, just when I felt confident in having found my voice—now I felt crushed.

I cried a lot. I walked a lot. I prayed a lot. Fast-forward to today. I have the benefit of seeing things from hindsight and can better understand what David meant in Psalm 119:71. It was good for me to be afflicted. It was not pleasant, but it was good.

God allowed me to be afflicted so that I might learn the deeper lessons of His love, patience, and understanding. This helped me learn some important things about myself and what it means to be a leader. I learned lessons in humility, teachability, leadership, forgiveness, and how to make difficult decisions. It seems we cannot learn certain vital lessons unless we are afflicted in some way. How else would I be able to understand what another person may be going through unless I had experienced something similar? I am grateful for the decision I made the first day after my redundancy. While walking and crying out loud, and with tears streaming down my face, I said, “I choose to forgive those who made this decision. I am willing to walk this valley with God, knowing He will work it out for my good.” Though it took a long time to heal and for my head and heart to sing the same song, looking back, I recognize that it was good for me to be afflicted. Are you facing afflictions? Trust God. He will work it out for your good. He did it for me.

Danijela Schubert