Fix It, Lord

I struggled with infertility. I prayed, fasted, ate well, and exercised. I followed “old wives tales” and took medication. Finally I surrendered.

My prayer was, Three more months, Lord.

If this is not Your will for me, keep me from falling pregnant, and let me have peace. The first month, nothing. I cried. The second month, still nothing. I was sad. The third month, I was OK. I accepted it and was not angry.

I was simply ready to move on with my life.

As I cleaned out my fertility cupboard, I looked at the last two pregnancy tests in my now diminishing pile. Well, that’s the end of that.

Might as well use them up. So I did. The test read positive. Fast-forward thirteen years: My daughter had been sick on and off for a year and kept growing worse. The doctor said surgery was her best option. While it would not fix the problem, it would stop it from worsening, though she could possibly experience some pain.

With her situation growing severe, she needed surgery immediately. She would then be home-schooled for about a year and would have to relearn how to walk. Did I mention she might still have pain? How was this a solution? No! I could not believe this was happening. God, You have to fix this! Many times, this is how we feel.

God blesses us, only for life to turn things upside down and leave us feeling our life is cursed. The dream job is stressing you so much your hair is falling out. That handsome dude you married has morphed into an object of abject misery.

The post you prayed you would get at church has become a burden. Things change, people change, and now you are in a dungeon of dread, demanding deliverance from God. Fix it, Lord! is your ongoing cry. I cannot do this! Then God opens His arms and comforts us. “It’s OK, daughter. My grace is sufficient. I’ve got you. My strength is made perfect in your weakness. I am here for you and always will be. It’s going to be OK.” Life is hard, but we can take comfort in the fact that we are never alone, for God has promised He would never leave or forsake us. You do not have to carry your burdens all by yourself. As life threatens to overwhelm you, turn to Jesus, rely on Him, and allow Him to carry you through the trials in your life.

Kathy-ann Best