Just Say Thank You

Sincere compliments have been essential to my growth as a woman and a Christian and in ministry, but I have had a hard time learning to accept them graciously. When someone has said, “I love your outfit!” I might feel pleased and reassured, but I have often responded with something like, “Oh, this old thing? I have a blue sweater that goes better with it, but it is in the laundry.” Or “Do you think it makes me look fat? I really feel fat in this outfit.” Why couldn’t I just smile and say, “Thank you”? When someone has said, “You have a beautiful touch on the piano,” I may be encouraged to keep playing. However, I often have said something like, “But I made so many mistakes on that closing hymn!” Why couldn’t I just smile and say, “Thank you”? When someone says, “You sure did a great job on that children’s story today—I loved it!” I do feel affirmed, but I am tempted to say, “But I forgot to tell the part about . . .” Why can’t I just smile and say, “Thank you”? We sometimes think we are being humble by putting ourselves down in response to a compliment. How humble is it to disagree with someone, essentially begging them to argue with us and reassure us that we are wonderful? At face value the compliment is about me, but I have learned that it is really about more. It is also about the other person, who has offered me friendship and connection. When I reject it, I have rejected that connection or friendship and have shown disrespect for their opinion.

Compliments can be awkward to accept when we feel we do not deserve them, when we feel insecure, or if we are afraid to admit we are feeling pretty cute! If we think of them as opportunities to affirm and connect with the person who offers us one, we will be more gracious. Maybe we will say, “Thank you, I got the skirt on a great sale!” Or “What a sweet thing to say! Thank you, I’ve been practicing!” Or better yet, we will simply smile and say, “Thank you!” When someone seeks to live biblically and offers kind words to encourage and build us up, we will bless them by graciously accepting their affirmation. In doing so, we may be living more humbly and biblically ourselves.

Cheri Corder