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David had one stipulation before accepting Abner’s defection.
He wanted his first wife, Michal, returned to him (1 Samuel 18:20, 21, 27).
This reinforced David’s claim to the throne among Saul’s supporters.
“The messengers were sent to Ish-bosheth and not to Abner, probably because the negotiations between Abner and David were then still secret. On the other hand it was Ish-bosheth who as king would have to issue the orders for Michal’s return. Without the support of Abner, Ish-bosheth would be in no position to resist David’s demand. In complying with that demand, Ish-bosheth would reveal his own weakness, acknowledge the wrong that had been done to David, and the justice of David’s demand. For Ish-bosheth publicly to accede to this demand would give evidence to all in both Judah and Israel that his days were numbered and that David would soon take over the entire kingdom.” Abner personally carried out the order, and Phaltiel, Michal’s second husband, followed behind, weeping.
Abner ordered him home (2 Samuel 3:16).
Lest one feel too much sympathy for Phaltiel, remember that he had no qualms about taking another man’s wife as his own.
Then Abner reminded the elders of Israel that originally, they supported David, but he persuaded them to support Ish-bosheth instead.
Now Abner encouraged them to honor their original decision (vv. 17, 18).
As Saul had come from the tribe of Benjamin, Abner personally went to that tribe to negotiate. These would be the toughest to convince to swear allegiance to David.
“They felt bound to Saul by ties of kinship and had enjoyed great advantages by virtue of their connection with him.” Abner and twenty of his men met David at Hebron with an update. Leaving Hebron, Abner went forth in peace on his final mission to align the rest of Israel with David. “When a man’s ways please the LORD, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him” (Proverbs 16:7).