AFRAID, BUT . . .
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I think we all know the feeling. We have something important to say, but our mouth feels like it is full of sand, and we can barely form the words.
Our heart is beating fast and seems so high in our throat that we are concerned it might actually stop us from breathing. We might have practiced the words we want to say over and over in our minds, but we are not sure that the sounds coming out of our mouths make any sense at all. In our nervous state, we might have caught the attention of the person we want to speak to by our awkwardness or distraction. It does not feel like this is the moment to say something so important, but it is precisely the importance of what we have to say that causes our anxiety. As Nehemiah prepared to speak to the king, we can imagine him experiencing all of these symptoms of fear. It is hardly surprising that he committed the offense of failing to look happy as he served the king that morning. When the king noticed his distraction, it would have caused his heart to thump even louder. He was terrified, but . . . he spoke up anyway. Struggling to get out the first few words, he relied on a phrase he would have said countless times in the service of the king, and as that familiar phrase rolled out of his mouth, his voice gained confidence. He was able to catch his breath, and he began to make his request.
As the king asked a follow-up question, Nehemiah breathed a quick prayer (see Nehemiah 2:4) and continued the conversation that would change his life and renew the work of God’s people at that time.
