He Feels My Pain
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I am wounded. Brokenhearted. Betrayed.
Will I ever be delivered from the restraints that have held me in mental and emotional captivity for so many years? Will I ever fully recover from this deepest, most intimate hurt? The abuse started when I was only seven years old. It began with only a small touch. I was just a child, innocent and trusting. I adored and loved my stepfather.
However, his small touches grew into something dreaded, unnamed, and monstrous—and continued for six very long years. I no longer adore this person. At every family gathering, he is still there. I cannot bear to look at him. If anyone had to look at me, they could not possibly know that yearslong childhood trauma lies buried within me, etched into every fiber of my being. I do not know that I have ever shared this deep pain this openly with anyone. Perhaps you can relate, at least in part, to what I have shared. Perhaps you, too, need God’s help to forgive and let go. Perhaps you need God’s strength so you can pray for those who have hurt you. It takes courage to ask Jesus to work mightily in the life of someone who has injured or damaged you. And when the enemy of our souls taunts us with lies as he tries to resurrect that hurt from the past—or build on it—perhaps you also need Jesus to free you from the sting of unwanted emotions so that you can walk free. So, even as I bear my burdens of grief and hurt, I remember I am not alone in my despair. These amazing words of comfort flood my mind: “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18, NIV).
Tonight, Jesus, I am that crushed and brokenhearted little girl again.
Only You know how desperately I hurt.
That is why I trust my heart to the safety and healing love of my heavenly Father, who surrounds me with protective, comforting angels—and never wastes my pain.
Gail Dotski
