I Asked God, “Why?”

I lost my mother on September 1, 2020.

It was during a COVID-19 wave—a time when some people’s faith in the Lord was being tested. The news on television and in newspapers headlined the growing number of deaths worldwide. Then life seemed to come to a standstill when lockdowns were put in place. Conditions worsened. No hospital beds were available for the sick, no ambulances were available to transport patients, no space was available for cremation, and burial grounds were full.

People were living in fear because of the coronavirus.

My mom had to go to the hospital for her routine kidney checkup, and, unfortunately, she became infected with the coronavirus, likely from other patients. She was admitted to the ICU (intensive care unit). Although she seemed to recover well and was released from the ICU, her health began to deteriorate. My family and I were very concerned.

Our church family faithfully prayed for her for several weeks. I had much faith, and I trusted that God would restore her to health. Tragically, on September 1, my birthday, my brother called to tell me that our mom had passed away. Tears filled my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. I questioned God: “Why, God, why? Why didn’t my mom live?” But then a still, small Voice spoke to me and said, “I didn’t want your mom to suffer. I didn’t want her to be in pain. So I took her in My arms to give her rest.” I had trusted that God would heal my mom. I had begged for a miracle. But no miracle happened. I accepted, however, that my mom’s death was for her good because she was suffering and that God let her rest in His perfect time.

I look forward, though, to when God will come the second time, and I will be able to see my mom and dad again. “Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord” (1 Thessalonians 4:17, NKJV). That is the blessed hope we have in Jesus.

Shaila Rao