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Verse:A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet. —Proverbs 29:5
Our natural tendency is to appreciate those who applaud us and to avoid those who criticize us. Unquestionably, enemies can undermine our reputation and make our life quite difficult, as stated by David in some of his imprecatory psalms (e.g., Psalms 35; 58; 69; 109). Sometimes, however, our best friends can become our worst enemies. While our enemies point out our weaknesses and errors, our friends may end up just praising us and excusing our mistakes. On August 29, 1899, Ellen White wrote a warning letter to John Harvey Kellogg from Australia. He was becoming increasingly self-sufficient and independent. She stated, “And why is it that I have written to you so often? Because there is none other whom you consider of sufficient authority to heed.
This is the way the matter is represented to me.
Your brethren and associates in the medical college and in the sanitarium are not the ones who can help you. You are your own authority.
If the men connected with you were as true to you as they ought to be, you would hear words of counsel from them which you have not had.” Two kings of Israel were notably misled because they followed the bad advice of their flattering friends. One was King Rehoboam (1 Kings 12:1–24), who rejected the advice of the elders and followed the suggestions of the young men who had grown up with him.
Consequently, the whole nation of Israel was split into the kingdom of Israel to the north and the kingdom of Judah to the south.
The other king was Ahab (2 Chronicles 18), who surrounded himself with four hundred flattering prophets to validate him, while he hated Micaiah, who rebuked him. Ahab’s reckless attitude cost him his life.
A popular witticism warns, “Flattery will get you nowhere.” It does not help the flatterer, who is dishonest with his or her own conscience and hypocritical with his or her supposed friend. And it deceives the person who is being flattered by creating a false assurance. As Christians, we must replace harsh criticism with sincere admonitions, and we must replace deceptive flattery with honest appreciation.
Avoid offering “free advice” to those who do not want to be advised (Proverbs 9:7–9). Speaking the right word to the right person at the right time and place can make a positive impact in his or her life!