Children Are a Reward

I When was a little girl, I always hoped—when I grew up—that I would be the mom of a boy and a girl. So when I had my son, followed by my daughter, everything was perfect, and I was done. Much to my surprise, God didn’t agree with my decision. Just two years after my daughter was born, we discovered we were pregnant again! Although I love babies, it was a very difficult time for me. During that pregnancy, I struggled with terrible anxiety and several panic attacks, most of which were caused by my perfectionism and control issues. How would I get things done with another baby? My daughter was finally getting old enough for me to be able to relax a little bit and not worry about her getting into things. Besides, I already had the two children I had always wanted.

 Thankfully, about six months into my third pregnancy, I warmed to the idea of another baby. We had a different birth experience this time, a home birth, for which I will always be so grateful as it healed in me the discontent I carried from my first two births! I praise God for how my third child, a son, was such a beautiful blessing from the moment of his birth. One thing I noticed shortly after he was born was that my desire to have everything done perfectly all the time greatly decreased. Once I noticed this, I realized that was a part of God’s plan for me—to help me let go of all the pressure I put on myself, like the pressure to keep a perfect house and focus on unnecessary details, not to mention the guilt of perfectionism. Despite feeling unsure at times about my parenting, God’s trusting me with yet another child truly did feel like a reward!

Currently, we are expecting our fourth child this coming Christmas (2018). We didn’t necessarily plan this one either, but we had not shut any doors since our third child has blessed our lives so much. God has given me so much grace, growth, and faith in Him through my children. I can’t imagine receiving a greater reward than these precious little lives. I can only keep praying that we parent these kids in a way that continually shows Him how much we appreciate His trusting us with such precious rewards!

Lord, help us never to forget Your children are precious gifts.

Ericka J. Iverson.