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Verse:“Yet the Israelites will be like the sand on the seashore, which cannot be measured or counted. In the place where it was said to them, ‘You are not my people,’ they will be called ‘children of the living God.’ ” —Hosea 1:10, NIV
My sophomore year of college was a time of intense spiritual battles. Ever since I was twelve, I had given in repeatedly to a specific sin. Eight years of back and forth with God had exhausted my soul, and I had reached my breaking point. When I looked at my life, I saw only battlefields of defeat. The future looked completely hopeless, and my past was no different. At my lowest point, I considered ending a life that was not going to turn into anything worthwhile.
Yet the story of Hosea spoke to me during that time. God leads Hosea to marry a harlot named Gomer to illustrate His willingness to forgive His unfaithful “bride” (Israel) and reconcile. Gomer’s second and third children were named Lo-Ruhamah (in Hebrew, meaning “she has not obtained compassion”) and Lo-Ammi (“not my people”).
I grew up in the church. During a portion of my life, I even toyed around with the idea of becoming a pastor. The contemplation of suicide just a few years later, therefore, was not something that I would have thought possible. Even with all of my history, I knew that I was not one of God’s people; I was living in sin.
However, the Lord refused to leave me the way I was. He refused to leave Gomer’s children that way as well. Like ancient Israel, the situation in my life was utterly hopeless, but God made a profound promise. He said to me, “I know your future looks empty right now. I know what you have done and what sins you have committed, but you do not have to let them take over your life. Let Me turn your defeats into My victories.” As God had changed Abram’s name to Abraham and Jacob’s to Israel, He changed my Lo-Ammi into Ammi. It was a painful process; accepting His forgiveness is harder than anyone had ever told me. Yet as I looked at my life, my perspective began to change. All the places that used to showcase my defeats now showed me God’s victories. My weakness changed to His strength. My darkness turned to His light. In all the places I thought I was all alone He introduced me to His people. I was no longer a deserter when it came to my battles; I was His daughter.
Jaclyn Myers