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Verse:Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. —1 Corinthians 13:4–7, NIV
After a fun time with my son, he turned and said to me, “Mum, I love you, but you only seem to love me when I obey you. It doesn’t make me feel good, and Jesus doesn’t like it.”
Wait, what just happened? I wondered. I was totally blindsided. I was immediately tempted to defend myself; however, the Lord bridled my tongue. After staring at him in disbelief, all I muttered was, “I’m sorry.” The Lord reassured me that was all that was needed to be said.
God, in His wisdom, knew the lessons we could learn in dealing with children. My first lesson was one of listening. Often we listen to respond and not to understand. We believe we must defend ourselves, rationalize, and explain our actions. However, God desires us to listen more and talk less. James 1:19 tells us that “everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (NIV). Consider Jesus when Mary expressed disappointment over His tardy arrival after her brother’s death. Our Savior listened to the emotions that hung on her words: grief, loss, even confusion. He was moved to empathetic tears.
Then came a powerful revelation: Jesus loves me unconditionally, but am I doing the same? My son was convinced that I loved him only when he did what I wanted. This truly was not my intent. I had ascribed to so many schools of thought when it came to discipline: “Spare not the rod,” so the child won’t be spoiled. “Nip it in the bud” to minimize reoccurrence. And the one that trumps all: “His behavior is a reflection of my parenting.”
God allowed me to see that my methods lacked love. God’s love is the preface for His discipline (Hebrews 12:6). In the beginning, God established a loving relationship with Adam and Eve. When Adam and Eve sinned, He disciplined them—yet He also stayed to help them navigate the consequences of their actions. The best thing that we can do as parents is lovingly guide our children on the righteous path. May our discipline be administered in love, for love is what converts hearts, changes behaviors, and saves souls. This is truly Christ’s method.
Shevonne Dyer-Phillips