God’s Love Is Made Complete in Us

 I learned early in life that bad stuff happens. It just shows up anytime, making us innocent victims. Sometimes it drastically changes our lives. As a quiet and timid child, I usually kept to myself. That’s who I was, but it was exacerbated when I was a preteen. I was sexually assaulted numerous times by an extended family member that my mom and dad trusted. I never told them. Instead, I hid my feelings and withdrew. Back in the fifties, no one talked about inappropriate touching or child sexual predators. I was clueless and didn’t know what to say, and my parents were having their own crises. I became fearful and sad, completely nonchalant about life. Life went on, but fun times with my three younger brothers helped.

Attending Sabbath School and church with my grandma gave me some respite. I sang songs about Jesus and learned about God and His special love. Creepy feelings would sneak back into my mind occasionally. Why did God let these terrible things happen? He didn’t stop them, so did He really love me? And how could a man in our family hurt me and still be buddies with my parents? I was emotionally conflicted—ashamed, angry, confused, fearful, and feeling worthless. It was impossible to discover who I was or dream about who I could be because trying to be normal was all I could handle. Bits of hope sometimes brought short-lived encouragement.

Sadly, child sexual assault happens more times than we admit—in communities, churches, and families. This trauma is rarely talked about, and when uncovered or divulged, it’s often quickly buried. Victims suffer—often all their lives. It’s taken almost sixty years to slowly overcome my pain and begin seeing the gifts God planted within me. Probably you know a woman like me with her own agonizing story of what she went through or is going through. People won’t understand when she retreats, stuck in a dreadful past she can’t forget, unable to live happily. We can make a difference through our empathy, compassion, kindness, and love. The love of God within each of us can help her become who God destined her to be. May we recognize the weight she bears. Let’s diligently and willingly share God’s love—a love that completed us and will complete her when she is finally ready to receive it.

Iris L. Kitching