Turning Our Darkest Day into a Blessing

The call from my sister came on a Monday night. Mother had been in an accident. The car in which she was a passenger had hit a pole, and now she was in intensive care. This news seemed surreal since we had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday a few weeks before. My sister assured me that Mom was fine. She had even opened her eyes. However, as the week progressed, Mother’s condition did not improve. We all decided to go home and see our mom.

When I arrived at the hospital on Thursday, I could see that she was not doing well. She was not responding to the medical personnel, and she did not respond to me. The doctor requested a meeting with all six of her children as soon as possible. In the meeting, the doctor informed us that Mom was being kept alive artificially. The doctor confirmed our deepest fears. Therefore, she requested a decision from us regarding the removal of Mom’s life support.

How do you even make such a decision? We sat together and talked about what to do next. Just a few weeks earlier, we had planned her birthday party; now we were gathered at the hospital. In that room, there were different points of view. Some wanted to remove life support immediately, while others wanted to wait a week or two. Which decision would be best? What would Mother want us to do? We talked, but we were at an impasse. Then my brother suggested that we pray. We prayed and implored God’s direction and asked for unity in the decision-making process. We wanted to be in one accord. God answered our prayer.

We all decided it was best to remove the life support that day. This is what our mother would have wanted—though it was not an easy or pleasant decision. However, it was a God-led decision. After the life-support devices were removed, we surrounded Mom’s bed with hearts full of love. We prayed, sang, hugged her, and kissed her as she took her last breath. God led us all the way, step-by-step. Even in our darkest hour, He was there all the time. From this experience, we began a weekly prayer time in honor of our mom. God made something good come from this tragedy. “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5, NKJV).

Edith C. Fraser