Trusting in God

Do you believe God answers prayers? I always thought so, but recently I had doubts. What I believed God was going to bless me with didn’t happen.

I had some issues that caused me to possibly lose my ability to have children. I was peaceful in the knowledge God would allow me to accept that.

I almost did lose that ability, but the doctors were able to save it.

I thought God would allow me to have children.

Not too long after this, I had a vision of God telling me to keep trusting in Him. I thought that meant in time, I would be given my dream and desire to have a child of my own. After many tests and procedures, things didn’t progress as I had hoped.

I got to the point where there was no chance to have a child even through in vitro fertilization. I was told that the next time I was in a hospital, I would lose my uterus. Even a miracle child wouldn’t be able to come after that.

Over the next little while, there was always that little bit of hope in my heart. Finally, the time came. I needed to have a hysterectomy; there was no other way.

I was in pain almost daily. I was trying to be positive, but part of me kept going back to the vision God had given me. He didn’t say He would give me what I wanted; regardless, I had to keep trusting in Him. I have a hereditary condition that causes muscle weakness and other issues. I noticed there were things I could no longer do.

Things that would need to be done if I had a child.

I did want a child, but God knew I would not be able to take care of one. Trusting was hard when I so badly wanted a child. So God does answer prayers, just not in the way we think. I had people praying for my desire for a child.

I think my heart’s desire is to live a life that gives glory to God in all things, though, as you all know, that is not always easy.

We can’t know God’s decisions because He alone knows all.

He knows what is best for us.

We can’t comprehend how many things we ask for may not be good for us.

But God does know what is best and loves to give His children the best gifts.

Melanie Carter Winkler