The Power of Healing Words

When I studied communication in school, I learned that words are only 7 percent of effective communication. The other 93 percent of our communication is credited to voice tone, facial expression, and other nonverbal means.

How do we use the 7 percent of our verbal communication? Several texts in the Bible remind us of the need to be vigilant with our words. The tongue needs to be controlled. Here is a good reminder: “Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone” (Colossians 4:6, NLT).

Another verse reminds us that “gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit” (Proverbs 15:4, NLT). Recently I longed to see a friend who no longer communicated with most of the church members, including myself.

I wanted to enjoy sweet fellowship with her once again.

Over the years she had designated me as her sister, friend, and counselor, but personal challenges and circumstances in her life had made her bitter.

Many of my attempts to reestablish communication failed. So, once again, I prayed as I texted her. “My Sister, it has been too long. Can we meet somewhere?” She responded, “I am in this world alone and just want to leave it there. I will survive alone.” I was shocked. I could hear her anger, pain, and disappointment speaking.

After much thought I decided not to respond in kind.

I told myself, Take time to pray for her.

Forty-eight hours later I saw this text from her, “Thanks for the concern, very much appreciated!” A few days later she sent another positive text that ended with, “Lots of love, stay blessed.” I replied, “Your response brings joy!” Though I originally had been tempted to respond in kind to her initial text, I gave praise to God for restraining my tongue. My restraint was confirmed when I read the following quote: “If impatient words are spoken to you, never reply in the same spirit. . . . There is wonderful power in silence. Words spoken in reply to one who is angry sometimes serve only to exasperate. But anger met with silence, in a tender, forbearing spirit, quickly dies away.”* Let us always choose to speak healing words.

Sonia Kennedy-Brown

* Ellen G. White, The Ministry of Healing (Mountain View, CA: Pacific Press®, 1905), 486.