“May I Hold Your Hand? ”

My cell phone rang as I was leaving the grocery store . Hastily looking at the caller ID , I saw my doctor’s name . After sharing about my recent breast biopsy results , she said the dreaded words : “ You have cancer . ” She continued . “ I’ve already made a referral to one of the best surgeons I know . ”

I remembered my recent physical exam. “I want you to have a mammogram every year, ” my doctor had stated . My new insurance company recommended one every two years. Thankfully, the small lump had been found early. I sat in total silence. God, why me ? Tears were lurking. During the next few weeks, my emotions often drifted in anxiety’s direction.

My surgery date arrived. Before my 12:30 P.M. surgery, diagnostic and nuclear medicine procedures had to be completed, including the biopsy of dye - injected lymph nodes. Apprehensively, I lay down on a cold gurney. Suddenly someone grabbed my right hand. Looking up , I saw a very kind face . “ Harryette , ” she greeted , “ may I hold your hand ? ” The stranger continued, “ Most of our patients find this procedure very painful . I want you to squeeze my hand just as hard as you need to . I can assure you my hand will not break! ”

The pain was incredible — worse than I had imagined. As I winced, tightly squeezing her hand , I felt the technician grab my left hand . I heard , “ You may squeeze my hand too ! ”

That day , along with my prayers , I felt the strength from many other prayers ascending heavenward . Yet in the gesture of one caring person , I felt a loving heavenly Father holding my hand , being there for me exactly when I needed Him . Suddenly fear subsided . Even as I was wheeled into the operating room , I no longer felt anxiety but a heaven - sent peace .

At the moment we need Him most , God is there ! All we have to do is ask . I had shared with Him my thoughts and frustrations all along this journey . And at the moment I needed to feel His presence , He was there — holding my hand just as He promised .

Harryette Aitken